Parts of a One-to-One Conversation
Briefing – before you get to the meeting, think of what you know about the person, and what questions you might want to ask.
1. Opening/Credential
Go over again that you are representing the parish. Explain that these conversations are going on with many people in the parish as part of a pastoral planning process to create a vision for the future of the parish.
2. Breaking the Ice
You can’t rush into a question like, “What is your deepest concern for yourself and your family?” Start with easier questions that get the conversation going:
- How long have you been a member of the parish?
- Where do you work and what is that like?
- Where do your children go to school?
- In what way(s) have you been involved in the parish?
3. Learning about them and their hopes for the parish.
- What do you like about being a member of the parish? What do we do well at our parish?
- What are your most important concerns about our parish?
- What could our parish do differently or do more of to be an even more meaningful community for you and others?
- What are the most important concerns you worry about for yourself and your family, your neighborhood?
- Why do you feel this is a problem?
- How do you feel the parish could begin to address that concern?
If you hit a sensitive area in the conversation, ask permission to ask more about it.
If you feel you are still on the surface and not getting at the person’s true concerns, then tell a story about what you are concerned about and why the parish is important to you. Then ask, “Is there something like that for you?”
4. Closing/Proposition
After listening to their concerns, make a proposal that they consider some next steps with you. If you are planning a parish assembly, ask them if they would attend the meeting where others from the parish will be discussing some of these concerns together. Ask if they would be willing to talk with you again in the future as the planning process continues. Finally, ask them if they know of other parishioners that you could also speak with.
Thank them for their time and commitment to the parish. If you are comfortable, take a few moments to pray together with them for the well-being and future of the parish.
5. Evaluation
After the meeting spend a few minutes thinking about these questions, and write down some of the most important points of the conversation on a note card.
- How did the conversation make you feel?
- What was the most important point or insight they said? Write this down.
- Do you think this person would be helpful in implementing some part of the pastoral plan in the future?
- What other questions do you think you might have asked to learn more about their interests, their concerns, and their story?